Day Seven

You can never imagine what a war would really be like until you are actually a part of it. It's so real and so brutal that I can swear that I'd be able to remember everything vividly that has happened so far till I die, if I live through this war. I would never forget how it felt like to hold a gun and actually aim at someone for a first time. I knew that the loyalists deserved to die. They were wicked and evil-hearted and I thought that it would be easy to finally make a hole through one of those brutal people. Today, as our troop was heading towards San Ildefonso to claim back the territory since it has gotten into the loyalists hands, we encountered some loyalists across a river. We were ordered to wait for a signal and shoot at the loyalists as we got into our positions. I got ready in my position and waited anxiously for the signal. Although it was only a few seconds before the sergeant gave out the signal, it seemed like hours for me. As soon as I heard the word, "fire" I pulled my trigger again and again though I was not even sure if I was shooting at a right angle. Terrible, sharp sounds of the guns and the horrified shouts and screams of the loyalists who were being shot at hurt my ears as I tried to ignore them. The shooting never ended until the tortured screams of the loyalists ended. Bodies were soon floating on the water here and there. And yet, I couldn't relax. I was sure that one of the loyalists got away or is playing dead and if I took my eyes away from the corpses, it would stand up and shoot at me. As I got into my tent, I couldn't close my eyes and help not to think how useless I was. Everyone seemed fine after the shooting. Here, I was lying next to my friends, scared that the dead bodies would come alive and haunt me. I wish I am a good soldier like Lolo and my other friends.

Image source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01123/lra-child_1123490c.jpg